


both and neither at the same time

by clarakent (niewanyin)



Series: Jason Todd Week [5]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Brotherly Bonding, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Kid Fic, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Tim Drake, Rape Recovery, Sigma Jason Todd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:53:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22898323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niewanyin/pseuds/clarakent
Summary: Sigma, the red-headed step-child of dynamics.They're only 1% of the population of the world, their bodies unknown for the most part and the history on them filled with holes. Jason spent hours trying to research them before giving up, and it's scary how little information there is on them. Small knots and strange heats, stuck in some weird position between alphas and omegas. It's Jason's entire life in his dynamic, never able to make a fucking decision or find a place that he belongs.
Relationships: Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Series: Jason Todd Week [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1642177
Comments: 20
Kudos: 282
Collections: Gen Batfam ABO





	both and neither at the same time

**Author's Note:**

> For Omegaverse for Jason Todd Week
> 
> Thanks to zukachi for betaing the fic!
> 
> And I hope you like my take on interdynamism in an omegaverse

When pressed, Jason always says that he's a beta. It's easier than explaining that he's actually a freak of nature, and it isn't as humiliating. Most people actually can't place his dynamic, and a lot of them are too embarrassed to ask. It's not really something you do in polite company, and Jason's tall enough and big enough that most people automatically label him as an alpha.

(In many ways, they're right. In many other ways, they're dead wrong.)

But it's such a strange thing being . . . what he is in this family.

He died unpresented. When he came back, he presented, but it was before he came back to Gotham. It was something he was able to hide from Talia miraculously enough. So he lets them all think that alphas and omegas, knots and heats, they're something beyond him, something that he doesn't understand.

Goddamnit, he hates his body.

He's curled up in his safe house, hugging a pillow tight to him and blinking back tears as he shivers under five blankets. Heat his ass, all this stupid biological process does is make him feel so, so cold. His teeth are fucking chattering and it's a September evening with his apartment's heat turned up high. He knows that chills like this aren't normal during heats, but his heats aren't normal heats, because his heats aren't omega heats.

They're sigma heats.

Sigma, the red-headed step-child of dynamics.

They're only 0.001% of the population of the world, their bodies unknown for the most part and the history on them filled with holes. Jason spent hours trying to research them before giving up, and it's scary how little information there is on them. Small knots and strange heats, stuck in some weird position between alphas and omegas. It's Jason's entire life in his dynamic, never able to make a fucking decision or find a place that he belongs.

Jason turns on his back, keeping the pillow firm in his grip. Tears are in his eyes, and he doesn't know how they get there. But a thick knot in his throat, choking him, and Jason hates how the emotions hit him this time. He feels like he can never have a fucking break, not when he has to keep these heats coming every nine months so that his internal organs won't shut down because suppressants don't work on him like they do on normal people. He can't extend the life longer than it should be like other omegas do. Nope, organ failure for him.

So he just freezes everyone out, makes it so they don't think anything's strange that they won't see or hear from him in five days, and then settles in.

(He really wishes that he wasn't alone. He wishes that he had someone to rub his back and purr away his discomfort, to wipe away the sweat from his face and scratch his head. He wants a hug more than anything. _This_ was why he hated Tim when he first came back to Gotham, because Tim was an omega, just an omega, and he never had to deal with this suffering. He always got the comfort he wanted from Bruce and Dick.)

He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to breathe through the cramps that are coursing through his entire body. He can feel the slick escaping his body, and he's hard. He's just glad that he's not hard because when he is, he can feel his knot trying to grow. His laughably small knot.

He hates his entire body, and his entire biology. His dynamic is fucked-up mess that no one understands and Jason is just fucking cold. He wants to be warm, but he doesn't have anymore blankets in this house. He just has to make do with these five and three pillows.

His phone rings, and Jason glances at it, not wanting to answer it, but he doesn't want anyone to come after him and find him like this. He reaches for it, whimpering when he has to pull his hand out of the blanket pile and exposing it to the cold room. It's Tim, and Jason groans. He really doesn't want to talk to Tim, or anyone, but he just has to scare Tim off. It isn't going to be that hard, just a couple of well placed comments about being a Replacement and then Tim will be so frustrated that he'll just hang up on him.

He's done it before, he can do it again.

"What?" he snaps, and Tim's response is just a sigh.

"Need to talk to you." Ordinarily, Jason likes how no-nonsense Tim can be, but right now, it's annoying as fuck because Jason can tell that Tim's in the frame of mind where nothing is going to annoy him. It's a great trait for Tim to have on patrol or in the Cave, but right now when Jason's feeling like crap? No, he wants the easy to annoy and appall Tim.

"About what?" Maybe he can figure this out over the phone and he won't have to look at Tim's perfectly beautiful face for the rest of this stupid heat.

"We got a shipment coming into the docks," Tim continues on, ignoring his tone like a good little soldier. "And I know you've been in a mood these past few days, but listen, Jay. We need you."

Guilt tears through him, but he can't say the truth right now, and he's forced to resort to a terrible lie. "I'm sick," he whispers, wincing at the lie, and the fact that Tim won't believe him. Jason's patrolled with the flu, he knows that him being sick is not a deterrent.

Tim's side of the phone is silent, telling Jason just how much he doesn't believe him. "Jason, what's really going on?"

Jason's stupid voice cracks as he forces out, "Nothing's going on, I'm just _sick._ " God, he fucking hormones and how they play havoc on his body, he doesn't think Tim gets this emotional during a heat.

Then again, Tim is the perfect omega son with the perfect daughter, so it's not like Jason can compare with him. And that's another fucked up thing about this dynamic because Jason doesn't even know if he can have kids. Fertility is pretty hit or miss and some people can only carry and some people can only bear. And with Jason's luck, he won't be able to do either.

(It's not like he really wants kids, except he might actually _really_ want kids. And if he doesn't have kids, he wants it to be because of his own decisions, not because nature made the decision for him. Because what does nature know, Jason's supposed to be _dead?_ )

"I need to go," he finishes. "I'll talk to you later." He hangs up on Tim's hurried "Jay!" and rolls back over, holding that pillow so, so tight to his body. God, he hates it. God, he just wants this to go away.

*

He wakes up to someone in the room.

Tim in the room. Astrid too. He can smell them both, and he can smell Tim's surprise. He cracks open his eyes, but doesn't make a move, just staring ahead. "Why'd you bring her here if you thought I was sick?"

"I knew you weren't," Tim whispers. "At least not like that." He sits down on the edge of the bed. He's dressed in yoga pants and a Batman sweatshirt, his eyes tired. He has Astrid in his arms, and Jason marvels over how tiny she is. He can't help it. It's incredible that she's so small when he remembered how big Tim was by the end of his pregnancy. She's only ten weeks, and it's amazing how easily she can be at peace in her mother's arms. Jason wonders if he was ever like that with Sheila or Catherine once upon a time.

All she does is drift on Tim's arms, Tim's hand on her back as the steady presence that he is.

"You're an omega," Tim whispers, and Jason's throat chokes up. He wants to nod, but he can't do it. "Sigma," he whispers, and to Tim's credit, he doesn't do anything except raise an eyebrow and then nod. He jerks his head towards the nest of blankets that Jason was trying to build for himself. "Can I slide in?"

And get warmth from Tim? Jason nods, hoping he doesn't look too eager. It takes a few minutes and some chills before Tim is settled in the bed with Jason, Astrid lying on his chest and Jason curled up next to him. Jason was right, Tim really is warm. It's enough that he doesn't feel like he's about to freeze to death, and Astrid's not a bad thing to look at either. Her little mouth is open and her dark hair is a little messy, because she was born with the full head of black hair that she got from Tim. Jason places his hand on Tim's chest next to her, and she just wraps her little hand around it in his sleep.

Jason starts blinking back tears for a whole other reason.

"I don't know how I got so lucky," Tim whispers. "I could just stare at her all day though."

Jason nods. "I hear you. Everyone hears you." He looks up at Tim. "Does it feel weird? Being a mom?"

Tim looks at her. "Kind of? I'm still me. I didn't suddenly have it all figured out, or realized life's biggest mysteries. But there's a little person in this world that I'm responsible for making them a decent member of society and dammit, it's _really_ scary. I'm still me, and I'm so worried about what I'm going to screw-up and what I'm not doing that I should be doing and what I should be doing that I'm not doing and-"

"Tim," Jason interrupts, "stop worrying. You're going to be a good mom. It's been ten weeks and nothing bad's happened yet, right?"

His little brother sighs with frustration. "That's what worries me. Because something bad is due to happen soon."

Jason shakes his head. "You have Alfred and Dick and Bruce, you're going to be fun."

"Yeah, great-grandpa and uncle and grandpa, but _I'm_ the one responsible for her." Tim shifts her delicately, and Astrid doesn't wake up at all, so soothed in her sleep that Jason doubts that anything could. "It's scary, Jay," and oh God, Jason can hear the tears coating Tim's voice now, and he wonders if the hormones are infecting Tim as well. "It's not what I thought my life was going to be like at eighteen. I wouldn't change a damn thing, but-"

"Looking forward to the future is scary," Jason finishes. "Because it means there's a future that you look forward to."

Tim nods, keeping his eyes on Astrid. "I was going to get an abortion before I told Bruce, but I changed my mind and I couldn't change it back."

Jason had wondered about that. One day, Tim was simply pregnant and they all made the necessary adjustments. He had no idea if Tim had been dating the dad or if it was a one-night stand, but it still ended up with Tim screaming in a hospital bed for hours as he pushed out Jason's niece.

Not that he saw any of it because someone (Damian) ended up fainting as soon as he saw what exactly went down during birth, and Jason was assigned as his watcher until he came to. Though he knew that Tim was definitely not having the time of his life, it certainly didn't feel like a miracle, and Dick later admitted that he lost all sensation in his right hand for thirteen hours afterwards because of _how_ tightly Tim had been squeezing it.

Apparently the baby bird had a strong grip when he's creating new life.

"Can I ask about her dad?" Jason whispers, and Tim says nothing for a moment, and then: "For every question you ask me, I get to ask you one. And we both tell the complete truth."

"I can agree to that," he nods, and Tim stares at Astrid for a beat before sighing. "It was rape," he forces out, and Jason's heart drops to his shoes. He had never thought about that possibility when he thought about the potential father. It was always just some asshole that Tim dumped when he realized that he could do better. Or some one-night stand that was a good fuck, but could never be a good father. It wasn't his little brother being _raped._ Because things like that happened to people that Jason saved, not his own family.

But he can see Tim swallowing in his throat, eyes focused on Astrid, but everything else on Jason. He continues on. "It was a mark. I felt there was only one way to get the information needed without severely risking the mission, and that was to let him fuck me. To let him do whatever he wanted to me. And that was tying me up, forcing me into things I didn't want, and hitting me until I was black and blue before fucking me. I said yes, but I. . . ."

Jason reaches for Tim's hand. "You were raped," he whispers. "You said yes, but you didn't mean it and any asshole that's worth breathing would have been able to tell that. "How old was he?"

Tim takes a shaky breath. "My turn right now. How old were you when you presented?"

"Seventeen," Jason gets out. "I didn't know what was happening. Slick was pouring out of me, so I thought I was an omega, but then I got hard and a knot started to form. A couple Google searches later, I had my answer." Jason's lips quirk into a bitter grin. "You know, you're the first person I've told the truth about that. Congrats."

"Thank you," Tim says, and he means it, which is one of the things that Jason loves about him. He's so serious and he means it fully. "And he was forty-three. An alpha. Literally over a foot taller than he and he had over two hundred pounds on me. The only reason why I never said no was because I knew that it wouldn't matter. He had allegations from other people, things I thought I could handle, but I was so, so wrong. And I just ended up in some of the worst pain in my life." Tim barks out a laugh. "I don't recommend finding out an easy way to a panic attack is to lie in a bed while you're tied up while someone fucks you with a ruler as they call you a dirty slut." He ignores Jason's stricken look. "Why did you never tell us?"

Jason's blinking back tears at that admission, but he pushes past them to answer Tim's question. "I was afraid you would think I'm a freak of nature. I didn't want to hear anyone say those words, or have you guys look at me in disgust for something I would do literally thing to change. And by that time, when I realized that you guys really wouldn't. . . . It felt too late. Why did you keep Astrid?"

"I didn't know I wanted her until I was standing in front of Bruce, and I realized I couldn't imagine him abandoning me because I was pregnant. And I know that doesn't make a lot of sense, because I know that Bruce never would have turned me out either for getting an abortion. Even saying this now doesn't feel like enough, but at the moment? It was all I needed." He looks down at Astrid, smiling, and not for the first time, Jason is surprised by how well Tim's seem to slide in the mom role, especially now that he knows more about how Astrid came about. It's not like he thought Tim would be _bad,_ but . . . he had never thought that Tim would really have the desire or temperament to have kids before he was thirty, and even then, he assumed that nannies would be involved. But nope, Tim actually seems to be happy and content being a mom already.

"Ask me another question, I have one for you."

Tim laughs softly. "Alright. Um . . . why didn't you tell anyone else?"

"Same reason," Jason sighs. "By the time I've felt like I could trust someone with the truth, it's always felt like I should have told them sooner and it's too late. What do you want to do with your life now that you have her?"

Tim bites his lips. "I never really gave much thought to what I wanted to do when I was younger, and now that I'm older, most of the jobs that sound interesting, I just . . . I don't feel the drive to do it. But I've been thinking. I know I'll always have Bruce, but I want something more, something that I do that's for me and helps others and I enjoy, and that was never Wayne Enterprises."

"You're a good photographer," Jason says. "I've seen your pictures, they're amazing. And I've seen you get lost in solving cases. You've cracked some that were decades old. There's something there."

"A cold-case solving photographer?" Tim laughs. "I mean that's-"

"Two things that you enjoy that you would never get bored with and flexible enough that you can do while raising Astrid." Jason raises his eyebrow, because Tim knows that he's telling the truth, despite that he's shaking his head. "Come on, admit that the idea appeals to you."

"It's a possibility," Tim says. "I'll give you that. And . . . and I want you to know that if you ever need me for any support, I'll be there. I'll hide your heats, I'll help you with any doctor appointments so you can make sure of whatever you need to make sure of, and I'll just be here to listen. Anytime you need it."

Jason looks at his little brother, who isn't really little because he has a baby and he's a mom and it's kind of amazing that time is just . . . going on, and also more than a little terrifying. Before he knows it, Astrid's going to be running around as a toddler, a kid, a teenager, and she'll be an adult herself one day. It's almost impossible to comprehend.

He reaches over and brushes a finger over her little face, and she nuzzles against it. God, he loves her.

"Last question. Want to hold her?"

Jason can't nod fast enough before Tim gives her to him, letting the baby curl against his skin as he inhales the soft baby scent.

His heats are still going to be hell, but he thinks they just started getting a little bit better.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm salazarastark on tumblr as well, so follow me [here](https://salazarastark.tumblr.com/)! I'm not as active as I'd like to be, but I'm always up for talking about my fics or anything else!


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